"Women say their number one fear of online dating is the guy will be a serial killer. Men say their number one fear is the woman will be fat."
So yeah, I use an online dating app/website because I go to work, I come home,
I go to class. Rinse. Repeat. There doesn’t seem to be the time or the
friend/family connection to more people that there could be for other
people. And I am at that point where I
kind of wish I could get an arranged marriage. Not that I am in any hurry to
get married. But more so that I am in a hurry to not be alone. I need someone
to adventure with me. Companionship really.
A while ago there was a video experiment that this group did
where they showed a hot girl dressed in a “Fat Suit” and how guys responded
when they met in person. You can view
that video here. Then of course they did the reverse where they showed a man in a fat suit and
the response from women. You can see that video here. The results are saddening.
I am fat so these are legitimate fears I have when going
onto a website or even meeting people the regular way. My insecurities are not
that I am fat, but how others view
me because I am fat. I am constantly
responding to friends who compliment me with things like “I know, I’m just
trying to convince the rest of the world.” I have a high sense of self in
regards to the way I look. I dress well, my eyes are fantastic and I have some
great hair. I am grateful that I have a “pretty face.” But I am more than just
a pretty face and I could probably write an entire book on existing while fat,
however the real reason for this word-vomit is because over the weekend a guy* messaged me on the app and asked me why I was “pretending to be sexy.”
Excuse me? First of all, I am sexy, regardless if this
person thinks I am or not. But what really bothered me about this person is
that they felt the need to message me. Regardless of the fact that I had not “approached”
him in any way shape or form. I didn’t message him and I had never seen his
profile before. This wasn’t a new experience, but it was one that I hadn’t
really had in a while so I was taken back by this strangers need to criticize me
for no other reason that my existence bothered them.
I responded to the person, calling them out on the bullshit.
I realize that it means nothing to people like this, but it felt good for me to
state my own personal opinion. He responded
calling me a hungry hippo. I’m sure it took him a lot to find that insult,
really had to get in touch with his basic child insults to make sure I was
aware that he was not attracted to me. As if it mattered?
While I tend to be good at ignoring the comments off others
this one seemed to seep in and I was hurt. I was also mad. I still am mad
because what if his message had gone to someone who wasn’t as strong as I am?
What if it went to someone who was on the verge of sadness and waiting for the
final nudge?
Mostly, why are people so cruel?
“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.” – Brian Andreas
* Side note, I hope this guy chokes on his spit.
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